It's been a rainy summer and the mushrooms are flourishing!  I see them everywhere when walking Luna.  Photographing these little gems proves difficult on the forested trails where there is no breeze because the mosquitos take full advantage of a stationary woman trying to take pictures.

Here is a sampling of what's out there this week.  Some are larger than life, others hard to see, some beautiful, some downright wretched, one or two that appear perfect, others maimed from some birth defect or unknown assailant.

Kinda like us humans.

Collin got a coupla weeks off, so we packed up the car, loaded the dog, and set out for the 9-hour drive to McCarthy and Kennicott at Wrangell-St. Elias National Park.  We'd been there many times by air, ushering in a group of pilots for a two-night stay at the comfy Glacier Lodge.  This time, we camped, in the rough and historic town of McCarthy, home to rushing rivers, visiting ice climbers from around the world, a great museum, and some hearty Alaskans that tough it out in this town to make it all happen.

Among other folks we encountered was the beer delivery guy named Pooky, a shuttle driver named Cosmo, and a horse named Curly Sue.  All great fun, luckily no bear scares, and the Root and Kennicott glaciers are as spectacular as ever.

​The experts refer to this thing called “complicated grief” whenever one’s loss has some particularly difficult angle to it: multiple deaths in a short time, the death of a child, suicide, when the relationship was “unsanctioned” by society, death by violent crime, estrangement with the deceased, just to name a few.

At Latitude 65, we are privy to a special sort of complication: long, cold winters.  This means that burial services cannot take place for roughly 6 months out of every year, which generates a prolonged bereavement experience, made harder by the notion that your loved one is spending pricey weeks in “storage.”  (That is the actual line item on the funeral home invoice.)

I attended a funeral service for a dear, old Mexican woman who died back in March.  This sweet and complex woman performed a couple of miracles in my mind: 1) found it in herself to move from her beloved and balmy Durango, Mexico to frigid and faraway Fairbanks, Alaska, and 2) lived to be 99 years old, dying in her own bed in the home she and her husband built 50 years ago.

Yet it was just today, June 9th, that she was put to rest in Fairbanks’ Birch Hill cemetery, alongside her husband who preceded her in death by some twenty years though at a similarly ripe age of 97.

This time of year is what one irreverent chaplain refers to as “planting season.”  (Just one of the minuscule but numerous reasons I left hospice, but that’s another blog post entirely!)

Delayed burials in northern latitudes don’t make it into the handbooks that discuss the complications of grief, though it should.  Makes one ponder just what other factors—specific to geography, socioeconomics, etc.—aren’t making it to the handbook either.

I’m starting to wonder if all grief is, in fact, complicated.

A brief departure from life in Fairbanks.  This long planned trip to Peru came at an interesting time to say the least.  I lost my breath in Cuzco (11,000' +), and now have just wrapped up 5 days touring various sites and towns in the Sacred Valley.  Tomorrow, the grand-daddy: Machu Picchu, then next week we visit Lago Titicaca.  Some photos for now.

The call came yesterday. It had been an unsuccessful recovery from a heart surgery in a Michigan hospital.  A surgery I didn't know was taking place. The shock and sadness and finality of it all have taken over this log cabin.

It's hard to lose your father when he's been your rock, your mentor, a great pal to your husband and supporter of your marriage, someone engaged in your life who you considered to be your faithful coach, the one who helped you get back on track whenever you veered off.

Hard to lose him when he's the first person you called for advice, the man you took guidance from throughout the difficult teen years, the loving father you trusted with all your childhood angst and insecurity after he and your mom divorced.

And it's also hard to lose your father when your relationship didn't much resemble any of those things.

This grief takes on a different shape: what was, what wasn't, what should have been, what could never be.  I am sad for his wife, and his sister, and mostly for him, for having gotten a bum heart that caused him a lot of problems and ultimately took his life away at the relatively young age of 71.  And, I am sad for me.  Sad to know that, now, there is truly no reconciliation to be had in this life, no kind words to be exchanged, no chance of even a sliver of a relationship to be forged.  Ever.

I'd always kinda, foolishly counted on that.  And then, my dad died.
​
RIP